"All right, pay attention, heads up
This 'ere is an army song the ranks for the singing of
So lets have you, everybody ready"

"Id like to song Magic Moments, Magic"

"Popplewell will you belt up, we're singing an armysong.
Come on then, lets hear those voices 1, 2"

What do we do in the army
We fight, we fight, we fight
What do we do in the army
We fight with all our might
When the tempreture is forty below
And the winters ???
???

"Phew what a shower, beats me why any of you joined.
You, Bisley"
"Who me Sarg?"
"Yes you, why did you join the army?"

Well I joined the army for to see
The wonders of the world
Like some exotic tapestry
Before me eyes unfurled
I've marched and marched for twenty years
And what do you think I've seen
The back of the guy, in front of the guy
Who I march inbetween

"Magic"
"Popplewell I've told you before, you're not
gonna sing Magic Moments and thats final"

"You Corporal Springer, why did you join the army?"

I joined the army for to speed
The flight of cupid's dart
For one look at the uniform
Will melt the ladies heart
And now I've thirteen females
Who do my life enrich
A wife, eleven daughters
And a cocker spaniel - 

"Corporal"
"Hey Sarg, your asking a lot of questions, let me ask
you one, how did you get in the gate then?"

I joined the army for the thrill
Adventure was my aim
I wanted to exploe a land
No white man ever came
Now any day you'll find me
In a place that is unique
Around the bend and in the cart
And up the flipping creek

"Excuse me sarg."
"All right Poppleewll, what is it now"
"What you got against Magic Moments?"
"Cor blimey, we got a right one here.
Tell me Popplewell, what made you join the army?"

I joined the army 'cause they said
I ought to do PT
The exercise would build me up
And make a man of me
I've run, I've jumped, I've skipped, I've hopped
Just like the fellow said
I'll do some more next summer
When they let me out of bed

What do we do in the army
We fight, we fight, we fight
What do we do in the army
We fight with all out might
When they've had a fire in the Sergeant's mess
And the Sergeant Major's in distress
Do we go in and save from his awful plight
Right

"Well I only asked."

None of us are in here out of love
We fight fight fight fight
Fight